Karie's B.I.G. Project: Weird

Karie's B.I.G. Project: Weird: "So I had a great Friday night, but an average Saturday and awful Sunday. Then today got better again, so life is crazy, as always. Matt a..."

Weird

So I had a great Friday night, but an average Saturday and awful Sunday. Then today got better again, so life is crazy, as always. Matt and I have been working on the project of our house. There are only so many ways to make blue carpet look good. We updated everything else from its original 1982 styling, but really, have never been able to bite the flooring bullet when we could go to Costa Rica, or Dominican, or Mexico, or even Canmore, instead.

The last big party we had was in the summer and we built two sundecks, relandscaped the yard, and bought patio furniture. This time we are not going that crazy, but we are cleaning carpets, washing walls, etc (Matt is actually). While Matt does that, I go out. I came home at 3:30 today to get work done, and what do you think really happened? I lasted 2 hours. And it is -30!! Scott kindly agreed to come with me and we went to IKEA first for a new coffeetable and mass-produced art (which I love, btw). Then we did the Costco wander and I priced out chicken wings for the big night. When I came home we had to go the usual rounds over furtniture placement, because Matt likes to line the walls with it, and I think something a little more 3D is in order. Anway, we found something that works for both of us (I got my way), but I still didn't get my school work done. Oh well. That's what morning and pressure are for. Sweet dreams.

PS: Disactivated facebook for now due to numerous problems. Will let you know when I have an account again, and how to find me.

F************!

This day of photos was a hilarious summer day. Matt kept taking my picture without telling me, and I was being Melodramatic Karie, so there are 10 - 12 really humiliating pics on my computer of me being Karie. Click click click. Anyway...

...I have decided to reduce the frequency of the F-bomb in my life. It is becoming REDICULOUSLY COMMON. Okay, when one uses it as a verb (action word), it stands very nicely for action, and everyone likes the noun. It is the F word used as an adjective in casual or professional or friendly conversation that is really starting to annoy me. We use it in place of every other adjective. We are getting just like the Brits. Okay, the point is that I am making a point of using the F word way less, like not in the outside world at all. If you catch me saying it, correct me. Several examples are included below. The F word has been replaced by this:

1. What the ___________? means: I do not understand this situation. Please explain.

2. This is _____ed. means: This is really disappointing and a little surprising.

3. She/He is so ______ing hot! means: She/He is so deliciously hot!

4. My ____ing shoelaces suck! means: Mom, I am not prepared to buy my own shoelaces or deal with my life out there in the real world. Save me. Pay for my shoelaces. Help.

And continue on thusly, filling in the blanks with more descriptive words.. Feel free to submit on facebook or here, your own replacements for the F bomb, to help me stop saying it. It's not cute. But prominent and addictive, yup.

Party Food: Convention Kick-off

Calgary Teachers Convention: Also Known As: Calgary Stampede Craziness for Teachers Only and Stuffed Into Two and a Half Days Instead of Ten. And in Winter. And the only animals are the teachers. Anyway...

How much do I love party planning? So much that I always go WAY over the top. Occasionally in the past I have required sedatives when the moment finally arrives after days of careful preparation and meticulous planning. Okay, so this time I am going to have FUN. I am planning a party for TEACHERS the night before convention starts (a Wednesday) and using this to document my plans as they change. A large number of people are invited, but knowing teachers, I have found there are three types of attendees:

1. Those who come right at the beginning because they have to get home, but don't want to miss out. They stay one - two hours. Thus it is essential to start the party immediately after school. Wednesday is perfect for me, because I will have a prep at the end of the day, so will have lots of lead time to get home and do last-minute prep.

2. Those who come after they have done other adult duties. They arrive around 6 - 7 and stay anywhere from 30 minutes to all night.

3. Those who arrive 30 - 60 minutes after the party starts and tuck in for the night, usually departing around the time that Canada AM starts...in other words, tomorrow.

Based on these factors, it is essential to have food that lasts, without being stuck cooking all night. I love intricate recipes, but I reserve those for small dinner parties, where presentation is more appreciated. Also essential for me is a balance of vegetarian (that doesn't seem like it) and meat dishes. Here is my plan for now:

My theme is Western European Fusion

-Crudites with Spinach and/or Artichoke Dip, served hot. I need to work on this one. Love hot dips. Feel that spinach and artichokes are both too 2002. So over. Ooo! Maybe salmon with green onion, as made by Amber the Fabulous as one option, and another dip that is vegetarian...
-Red Pepper Hummus with dippers. Love the red pepper for COLOUR!!
-Anipasti w/ Focaccia (beans, prawns, sardines, olives, artichoke hearts, figs, soft mozza, thin sliced sausage)
-Ratatouille (a hot, hearty, vegetarian dish for those who are staying over the dinner hour and beyond). This can stay on a low heat for DAYS, never mind hours, and still be delicious.
-Chicken Drumettes, as requested by Scott, John, and Suzana
-Meatballs with Gravy...hmm...need a twist on this one, too. Lamb instead of Beef?? Maybe... with a garlic gravy, greek-style. Mmm...lamb...
-Cold herbed couscous OR quinoa salad (useful for soaking up gravy and ratatouille sauces).
-Desserts: While I love to bake, I may cheat and go to the European bakery by Scarlett, because they have the coolest little yummy tidbits.

Okay, next hurdle is the drink menu. If anyone wants to email me ideas, go for it. Obviously, lots of non-alcoholic options because NO teachers drink. In addition to the usual alcohol proferrings, I would like to create one signature drink for this party. It's sort of my thing. Like the night I made Cloudy Skies...but need to stick with my European Fusion theme.

Avril Lavigne & The Switch & Jason Bateman

http://www.youtube.com/user/AvrilLavigne?blend=2&ob=1 This is to listen to What the Hell.

Criticized as too popp-ish, all I can say is, hello circa 1980's Madonna, je l'aime beaucoup.
Too much fun.

We need more fun, don't we people?

Let's not be so SERIOUS.

Watched The Switch tonight. Not nearly as good as Juno, but I am thinking Jason Bateman has been lying dormant all these years, and now he's BACK. And I love him. He's so funny and cute and QUIRKY. What is it with me and the quirky ones? He has not taken the place of my two loves, though. Robert Downey Jr. and John Cusack. Okay, a druggy (ex-druggy, now sober, excusez moi) and a recluse. Hmmm...need to reexamine my celebrity preferences, perhaps? Actually, are there really any that aren't freaking crazy pants?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEYqgyXyk9A This is to watch The Switch trailer.

Well, that was a day, that's for damn sure. Good night.

Starbucks Super Size Me

http://news.sympatico.ctv.ca/home/starbucks_rolling_out_huge_new_drink_size_in_us/578a2630

That is a lot of caffeine. Can you imagine an Americano 31 oz, which apparently will soon be a reality? A LITRE of coffee. You would literally be zooming around your house like a two-year-old on crack. Okay, maybe the caffeine addicts would barely notice it. Having broken my caffeine addiction (meaning I only have it here and there and do not experience withdrawl from it...any more...), I would definitely be flying higher than the stars. I drank a CAN of Pepsi Max last week, the one with the Ginseng, and I didn't sleep for four days. Seriously though, I worked at Starbucks (hasn't everyone), and there are some crazy orderers out there. It was bad enough when people came in and ordered a Venti light roast (light roast has the most caffeine, btw) with two or three shots of espresso. But being able to order it ten ounces larger? How many shots could you stick into an Americano that size? Like five? Six? And then people wonder why they have panic attacks and feel anxious. Um, could it be that you basically shot yourself up with another form of adrenaline? Why don't you add some SUGAR to that, and maybe your heart will just start beating so fast that it will actually explode out of your chest?

Okay, FACTS from Caffeine Blues: Wake Up to the Hidden Dangers of America's #1 Drug by Stephen Cherniske:

• Caffeine can't provide energy, only chemical stimulation (love that word...also love the word "moist"...anyway... distracted...), an induced emergency state that can lead to irritability, mood swings, and panic attacks.


• Caffeine's ultimate mood effect can be letdown, which can lead to depression and chronic fatigue.


• Caffeine gives the illusion of heightened alertness by dilating pupils, quickening heart rate, and raising blood pressure. In fact, caffeine does not increase overall mental activity.

Espresso was meant to be savoured, people. Not glugged. Um, by the way Amber, I still have your book. I think it has been a couple years. Sorry. You can have it back. :>

However, I do love the iced passion tea in the summer. Unsweetened. Herbal. Bright red. Herbaciously delicious and thirst quenching. 0 caffeine. 0 sugar. 0 calories. Lots of flavour. I could drink 30 ounces of that. Hmmm...

Delicious, Beautiful Food

Geoff above. Then burgers. Then chefs at loungeburger.

Lately I have been forgetting to eat. Friday I had a protein shake. And 1/2 cup of leftover salad. And then didn't think about eating again. All day. All night. This is very odd because I used to be obsessed with planning my next delicious meal ALL THE TIME. I woke up today and the scale was way too low. Those who have known me forever know this is odd, but my brain is just full of other thoughts. Anyway, today I decided to have a food day and try to have all the things I like most, come what may. I went to COOP as soon as it opened and bought turkey sausages and gluten free bread. Came home and made basted eggs like I learned from Emeril years ago (yolks still runny, yum), turkey sausages, toast with melted cheddar, and mom's amazing crab apple jelly from her own trees. Then Matthew and I had plans to meet his good friend Geoff for a late lunch. Let me tell you that it is exciting and frightening to go out to eat with two chefs. I am picky. They are...on a whole different plane. But not jerks about it. They just want it to be right. So Geoff said, let's try loungeburger. And off we went. It is not perfect, but it is EXCELLENT. And when we were unimpressed with little things, like the sauce on the edamame, the floor manager came over with sauce options and chatted us up. It is beautiful inside, super service, great decor and really comfortable, and BOOTHS. The best thing is all the options. They have burgers made of chicken, shrimp, portabellos, elk, lamb, veal, kobe beef, bison, many bun options, dozens of sauces, and lots of big screen tv's. Upscale burger joint. Love it. The thing no one knows about me is that burgers are my favourite thing on EARTH, though I never eat them. So today I had three mini-sliders (the buns made me sick, but who cares...pain is temporary). One was veal, one was bison, one was elk. They were prepared simply so that you could savour the distinct flavours of the meats, and came with exactly six waffle fries. Just enough to enjoy fries and not enough to feel badly about. I also ordered their mushroom bisque, which is another secret pleasure of mine. I love mushroom soup. It feels so right. Theirs was full of different types of mushrooms and finished with sherry. No fillers. No crap, just delicious pure ingredients. I am going back to try those meatballs that are on the menu at some point. Meatballs with goat cheese? HELLLLOOOOO!!!! Thanks for getting me there Geoff. You are a man of considerably excellent taste.

http://www.loungeburger.com/

I am going to finish my day with a gorgeous tuna melt, which is another one of my favourite foods that I never eat, so I am off to make it with more melty cheese, lots of mayo, and drowning in black pepper. Tomorrow is family day (Chele and Ambi birthdays) with a lasagna prepped today that has almost TWO POUNDS OF MOZARELLA, RICOTTA, AND PARMESAN in it. And Caesar salad. And olives. And BIRTHDAY CAKE!!

Monday is back to protein shakes and salad because Tuesday is ballet (eek). :>

UPDATE @ 11:31pm: No tuna melt. Went to the High Performance Rodeo instead. Saw "In the Wake". HIGHLY recommend. Great acting, great physical theatre and movement. Not WEIRD or ABSTRACT or OFFENSIVE. Just innovative storytelling. I love it long time.

Ballet Class, Here I Come!

After much contemplation (okay, none...I read about it in Swerve and then just went for it) I decided to start an adult Ballet class. When was the last time I took ballet you ask? Oh, maybe 25 years ago, give or take. Or wait, was that Jazz dance? Oh, yah. So... never.

Above is the ballet gear I bought today, and seriously, I am regretting it a bit. But I got all caught up in the moment. So likely I will wear my yoga gear over this, and never actually show the outfit off to ANYONE, but I love owning pink tights. Like, majorly love it. I want black legwarmers to go with this outfit. I saw some at Forever XXI the other day - a store which totally speaks to my thirty-something life crises, by the way. If all else fails, I can prance around in this outfit at home, and it will be there UNDER my yoga clothes at my class, should I ever feel brave. Jill at work has a daughter who is a REAL ballerina, and she suggested the layering concept, and I trust her. Good to have a backup plan. However, I can see myself getting fed up with the ugly clothes one day, and just going for it. Maybe Class 3 or 4. Don't you think you would just dance better in THIS outfit, instead of yoga clothes? I did yoga for YEARS. Over it. So over it. Yawn.



I am also terrified by the fact that there are two times in the next 17 weeks when OUTSIDERS are invited to OBSERVE classes. Not only will no one I know be invited to this, but I am dying at the thought of anyone watching me try to be all ballet-ish, even if they are just strangers who are there to watch their loved ones. Maybe I will skip that day.



If it is all just too awful, maybe they will let me switch into African Dance or something, though the fast beats are not so good for me. I almost died trying to learn to miringue last year, and have never made it past the second beat of a hip hop workshop.



I have a feeling I will be blogging about this again. Soon. Lessons start Tuesday at 5. Yikes.

Originally, this blog was going to be all about BIG things, and sometimes I get a little lost in the sarcasm, so here is another BIG blog.

For the past two days, I have been watching PowerPoints made by my ESL students about themselves. This has been totally enjoyable, touching, and at times, hilarious. I have had to do some quick re-translating in my head. For example, one girl was speaking of her best friend, and her slide said this of her buddy who is always there to pick her up when she is down, "She is best fren. When I am hard she helps me out." Oh, so funny, but I had to keep my best serious face on. Other times I am simply astonished, such as the young lady who waxed on sincerely about her love for sitting in Starbucks, savouring the smooth flavours of a mocha, and letting time slip by.

What struck me most though, was the section that they were required to present on their impressions of Canada. I was expecting criticisms, and stories of loneliness and being ostracized by their peers for the language barrier. Though they worked on them individually, the slides read the same over and over again, in variations: I love Canada. I love Calgary. It is beautiful and clean. The air is fresh and pure. The sky is blue and big. The people are calm and kind. I am free.

How simple. How we take these things for granted. To my Chinese and Korean students, the big, blue, clean sky of breathable air is their #1 overall impression of being here. To my students from Sudan and Ethiopia and so on, they are just happy to be free. Almost every student spoke of the love they have for Canadian people. Such a good reminder of how much we have been given.

Video Store Humiliation

THIS IS NASTY!!!

Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks have made careers trying to convince us that anything can be romantic, including renting videos on a Friday night. That sappy line about how they would never argue about anything except which one to pick as they gaze adoringly into each others' eyes makes me want to scream.

I personally think that having to enter Blockbuster on Thursday - Sunday is completely humiliating. I know, because I just did it. I am having one of "those" Friday nights. Mom left town. Plans with my buddy fell through. My sister doesn't feel like shopping (when does that EVER happen?). And I didn't have time to ease Matthew into the idea of doing anything, because I thought I had more plans than I could handle, and it generally takes three to five days to get him adjusted to the idea of entering any public forum of any kind on Friday. So, I went to the library, but it was closed, looked at the mall, but do not need one more material object in my life, contemplated the Leisure Centre but got queasy at the thought of child pee in my swimming water, and finally headed for the dreaded Blockbuster.

When I am forced to go into a video store on the weekend, here are the things I need to tell myself and/or actually do in order to go in:
1. Even the Sex and the City girls rented a movie in a couple of episodes, so it does not mean I am going to die, fat, alone, un-chic, and eventually be eaten by wild dogs, circa Bridget Jones.
2. I do actually teach a film class, which is totally cool of me, and I can rent something really deep, or Canadian, or French, or a documentary to prove how brainy I am, and that I am not having a lonely Friday. Actually I am doing research for my next semester. Yah, that's it. How often do I select one of those types of films? Umm....
3. I make sure that my former student that works there, is actually working when I go in, because when he is, he loudly talks to me about "what I am directing next" and other phrases that make me sound cool to strangers.
4. I never ever wear sloppy clothes because then I look like I am just picking up movies for my "kids" to watch with the "babysitter" while I go do something fabulous and grown-up, like attend art openings or go dancing. No one needs to know that the "kids" are actually my dog Scoop, and the "babysitter" is me, and the fabulous thing I am going to do is throw the dog's ball and watch videos.
5. I never make eye contact with anyone in there, because the look of shame that passes between us is too much to take. Occasionally I take sidelong glances at others to assess the quality of others at Blockbuster on Friday. Rarely is this reassuring. Generally I think that most of them are adopting the same strategies that I am.
6. I never buy junk food at the video store because THAT would just be TOO MUCH. In fact, I worked out on the treadmill when I got home.

So I survived it this time, but my dignity is barely intact, and I resolve to do one of the following to avoid another Friday at Blockuster:
1. Start volunteering for Amnesty International every Friday from 4pm - 11pm.
2. Join a Women's Lacrosse Team. Anyone know anything about Lacrosse? I like that word. Lacrosse. Anyone know of a team that plays every Friday from 4pm - 11pm? Is upper body strength mandatory?
3. Become a back-combed, boot-wearing, beer wench at the latest Calgary hot spot. Hey, I could avoid Blockbuster AND make tips. I am willing to work Friday from 4 pm - 11 pm.

On a COMPLETELY unrelated note, what is with this Ke$ha character, and why are you people listening to her music? I object to her for the following reasons: 1). She is a try-hard Gaga without the body, face, or voice. As if. 2). Have you seen the VIDEOS? Can you tell me what man would find eyebrows covered in gold spikes and a bra made of broken glass SEXY?? This woman is not daring or cutting edge. She is just a mess. And NOT a hot one. 3). Who actually spells their name using a dollar sign for a letter? Think about it people. This freak show does NOT belong on the top 10 of anything, except I hope shortly, Top 10 Has Been's and Never Were's.
As judgmentally delivered from a girl who is about to enjoy her Blockbuster Selections. Ahem.